It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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