she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
