I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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