This is not my ceiling
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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