He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
