This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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