maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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