if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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