thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
