i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
