im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
