Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Damn victory sex feels great
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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