i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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