found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
