called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
