I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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