fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
where does the pee come out of this thing
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
