My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
