At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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