I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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