Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
