we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
