I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
