Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
