I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she smelled like a LAN party
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
ok first of all what the fuck
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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