Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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