Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
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