you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
