Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize