it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
