some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When did angry sex become our thing?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
