I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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