My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize