No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
