Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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