Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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