every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
