love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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