you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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