Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
