PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
