i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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