So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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