I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize