Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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