I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm both gender and math confused
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize