Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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