lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
