somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
