I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
