So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
