Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just pee around me
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
