I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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