He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
