I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
