Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize