i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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