Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
