Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
