Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
