Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
