Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
