VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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