I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
