He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
