so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize