Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize