just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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