So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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