You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
