Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
