I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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