love makes seman taste better
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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