If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
only you would photoshop your dick
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize