ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
