don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
