Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
