im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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