That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
