i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
